Sunday, January 25, 2009

Where I've been

Now that I'm a new Mommy, I've been reflecting on all the places my life has taken me and evaluating the path that led me to where I am now. My career has taken a swift move into wife, mommy and homemaker from living a life where I've only had to think about #1... me. Along with being in the corporate world for the last 12 years and living the single life, I have nothing to regret and no experience left undone.

In my past jobs:
I've traveled and gotten my trips paid for
I've traveled to Nashvillve and stayed at the Grand Ol' Opry Hotel
I've planned events and convention events and presented onstage to 2,000 people
I've traveled to Toronto, seen Niagra Falls, been to Hawaii and lived it up at the Hilton Hawaiian Village
I've gotten lost in Boston during the "Big Dig"
I've been flown to Florida to train with and meet some amazing people that I still remain in contact with
I've been to Vancouver, CAN and had the opportunity to witness the process of how Marine Phytoplankton is harvested
I've traveled to Vegas and San Diego with some of my closest co-workers and stayed in some of the nicest hotels and worked my @$$ off with them
I've worked many 80 and 90 hour weeks and put perfection into my job
I've been a customer service agent, a trainer, a supervisor, a manager and a director
I've been a marketing product manager over product lines
I've excelled in computer programs and found it was one of my talents
I've learned that people don't always give you credit for your talents and don't always appreciate them, but not to let that get you down or doubt yourself
I've been fired
I've been layed off more than once
I've made best friends at work and also arch enemies
I've learned that I don't have to have a job if I don't feel good about the ethics of others choices and I will still be blessed
I learned to speak my mind
I've worked hard at times and other times not so much
At the end of the working day I learned that I'm more capable than I gave myself credit

In my single life:
I've blown $4000 in one week staying at a 5 start hotel and shopping at all the high end shops while getting salon treatment every day just because I could
I've been to Paris and London
I've been to Hawaii again, three additional times
I've swam with the Galapagos Sharks and Bungy Jumped from Circus Circus in Vegas
I've traveled to Nauvoo, IL 2x and learned all about church history
I went on a 30 mile backpacking trip to the Wind Rivers in WY and didn't think I'd make it, but I did
I got a dirt bike and my motorcycle license
I bought my own house (condo) with no ones help and no one to co-sign for me when I was only 24 years old
I've had an array of non economical cars just because I could (8 of them)
I've got myself into debt before and gotten myself out of it with no help
I've gotten myself into debt and had help getting out of it
I've seen Josh Groban and Rascall Flatts 3 times each ...Def Lepard, Leann Womack, George Strait, Brad Paisley, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Jim Brickman 3x, Colin Raye, and Garth Brooks
I've been out to the clubs every weekend and sometimes snuck a night or two in on the week days
I've had girls nights and movie nights and party nights for no reason
I've been the host of many late nights with friends almost every night
I've laughed so hard I've puked (more than once, and on people, or hanging out the side of my car)
I've cried so hard I've puked
I've had long talks and sung with friends at the top of my lungs on many road trips and done them on the spur of the moment, which are the most fun
I started writing a book about my life and plan on finishing it.
I've learned HOW to grocery shop and plan
I've learned how to cook and that I'm actually pretty good at it. People got used to me cooking and found that it was an expectation I had to keep when people hung out at my house. ...always have food :)
I've gone on 5 dates in one weekend
I've broken hearts and had my broken
I've been engaged more than once and I've called off weddings
I've dated people and been in a bubble where others see things that you I haven't until I was out of the situation
I've made some good choices and some really bad ones
I've learned not to trust everyone, but not to let it get in the way of trusting no one
I've been to friends funerals and watched friends make choices I couldn't help them with
I've felt alone at times watching everyone else get married and have kids and me still be in the same spot for years after
I've gone years (plural) with no dates... yep, not one --- but, I still had fun and found that there are other things than getting married and having kids despite what Utah culture makes us believe. -Friends!
I've gone shopping for clothes just because I didn't want to do laundry
I took 8 years to get a 2 year degree. And although I don't think it was a big accomplishment, it was to me ...because I still worked long and hard to get it and at the end of the day I still achieved my goal. It may take me 10 more years before I get my 4 year degree, but it won't stop me from trying.
I've learned how important the priesthood is and how important it is to have a priesthood leader in my home for my family
I studied and planned to go on a mission only to find out when I went in to get my mission papers that it wasn't God's plan for me
And I was sometimes lost more than found

My life now consists of new things I haven't done...
I've gone shopping for groceries with my husband on a Friday night and ended it by going to bed at 9:30pm
I've gotten up at 7am on a weekend just to clean my house or do laundry
I've gotten in to fights with my husband and had some of the best times of my life with him
I've gotten excited over building a storage room in the garage and building organizers in all my closets
I have had to go shopping for entirely new things I've never had interest in (baby stuff). There are so many gadgets and things to research... I just had no clue.
I've felt the love from other mommy's and now understand why women that have gone through pregnancy and have kids are such a volunteering support group for people going through it.
I've learned I have to say that I'm sorry sometimes and that not everything has to be the way I think it does
I've heard my baby, my son, cry for the first time and cried with overwhelming emotion
I've had the least amount of sleep EVER in my life from the moment I got pregnant and even less after Teagan was born.
I've been thrown up on, spit up on, pooped on and peed on and actually been more concerned if my baby is OK than the fact that I was disgusting.
I've learned about a love I've never experienced by having a child
I've cried thinking that one day he is probably going to be mean to me and can't believe how I have treated my parents at my "brattiest" times of my life when they gave life to me and took care of me and raised me.
I've almost gotten through the first year of marriage which they say is the hardest... and plan to have many more years (eternity!)
I've fought with my husband and wanted to get a divorce (a mad and irrational decision)
I've found that you can't keep your eye on the exit door when you're in a marriage or it's too easy to think you don't have to compromise
I've learned the marriage is teamwork and now feel that I don't know what I'd do or where I'd be with out my other half of the team.
I've learned that there are all different kinds of love and that love evolves with every relationship and also with time.
I've learned that the choices I've made have prepared me with the knowledge to pave the way for my family with everything I want for them. I just have to conciously make good decisions every day to remain on that path.
I've found that marriage is hard work... and although everyone tells you it is, you never really get it until it happens (especially when you're set in your ways)
Although short, I know that my husband and I made every effort to spend good quality time together (talking and planning things to do) and cherish those times before we had Teagan (kids).
I've found that even though it JUST happened, having kids ages you. We looked at our wedding pic's and think that we looked so much younger then (not even a year ago yet that we got married).
I've learned that as a parent, you carry a great weight of responsibility and want the best of everything for you kid. Whether it is to calm their tummy ache, keep them warm when they're cold, eating the right formula or going to college.

These things don't reflect anything from high school or before and so much has happened to in my last 10 years. I can't wait for all the experiences that await for the rest of my life! I feel like a new life has started for me and know that I'm living for my family now instead of for myself. It gives life a whole different, new meaning.


RhettandCass said...

T- i love reading your posts. I think you are so right. I havent had my little guy yet, but its amazing how much you start to change and how you change the way you see life. I feel like i have grown up so much within the last couple of months. Its funny how you completely stop thinking about whats best for YOU and totally start focusing on whats best for your FAMILY. I look up to you in so many ways, seriously. I dont think you will ever know what a great impact you have had on my life. Im so happy were friends and your in my life :) Love you!

Mel said...

that was a great post. you are such a great writer. thank you for sharing.

janie said...

Don't worry you will be working more than 80 or 90 hour weeks. :) It will just be a different kind of work. Love you!!